19 9 / 2014

"You oppose Obama, and he will get so bipartisan on your ass that you won’t know what helped you."

The Colbert Report

19 9 / 2014

"Yes, a victory lap, because Obamacare is dead!"
-September 19, 2013, today in Colbert Report history

"Yes, a victory lap, because Obamacare is dead!"

-September 19, 2013, today in Colbert Report history

19 9 / 2014

"What a catch, right ladies?  It is so hard to find a nice Jewish boy, let alone the nicest Jewish boy.  And his dad?  Super well connected.  He knows everybody.”
-September 19, 2012, today in Colbert Report history

"What a catch, right ladies?  It is so hard to find a nice Jewish boy, let alone the nicest Jewish boy.  And his dad?  Super well connected.  He knows everybody.”

-September 19, 2012, today in Colbert Report history

19 9 / 2014

"A 180 foot yacht burns up 224 gallons of gas an hour, dumping three tons of CO2 into the atmosphere.  Plus, there’s all that champagne-tainted urine going into the ocean, getting the mermaids hammered."
-September 19, 2007, today in Colbert Report history

"A 180 foot yacht burns up 224 gallons of gas an hour, dumping three tons of CO2 into the atmosphere.  Plus, there’s all that champagne-tainted urine going into the ocean, getting the mermaids hammered."

-September 19, 2007, today in Colbert Report history

19 9 / 2014

"Marshmallows have arousing and motivating “hot” qualities, such as being tasty, which make you want to eat them, and other non-emotional cognitive “cool” features, such as being white and soft."

I’m reading an article about the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment and this is one of my favorite sentences ever written.

19 9 / 2014

foque:

The Colbert Report 2011 December 07 with David Hallberg

Throwback to some legitimately impressive and unexpected moves.

(via colbear-nation)

19 9 / 2014

"You know who emits a lot of CO2?  Humans.  When we exhale.  I know, let’s just hold our breath until global warming is solved."
-September 19, 2006, today in Colbert Report history

"You know who emits a lot of CO2?  Humans.  When we exhale.  I know, let’s just hold our breath until global warming is solved."

-September 19, 2006, today in Colbert Report history

19 9 / 2014

19 9 / 2014

roseoftopaz:

If you want some humor about the Scottish independence referendum. God, I missed the Bugle so much.

YESYESYESYES so much yes

(via pauldilfnello)

19 9 / 2014

factoseintolerance:

Happy Friday, just because.

Bringing this back because IT’S FRIDAY FRIDAY

(via thestephencolbertreport)